This is from a few months ago (video of him reading), but I am so proud of Calico :)

I want to give Calico the will, space, and energy to figure out himself and his life. If he has these things, it is much easier to create a meaningful life.

Will

The inner drive to dig into himself and figure out his shit so he can go in the direction he wants.

I want to make sure he doesn’t lose his will to look around, make sure he is in a good place, and if not, figure out why and make changes.

I am not sure how I can help instill this trait. It is something I think about a lot.

At his current age, Lindsey and I try to help him slow down, listen to his emotions as an advisor, think things through with his head, and figure out what he wants to do and why he wants to try that.

Lately, much of that process is spent trying to understand social situations and kids at school. I especially want to ensure he knows he is not a bystander in his own life. That doesn’t mean he always needs to take action, but I want him to know he is allowed to react. That is something I wish I had learned sooner.

Space

Having the freedom to live, think, and figure stuff out.

Energy

The strength and vitality to sustain physical and mental activity.

Space & energy are a big reason why I want to live in Europe.

In Europe, I think my son has a much better chance to have the space and energy to enjoy life, explore life, and figure himself out. And he is around people who also have this chance because, unlike the U.S.A., Europe tries to create this environment for all its citizens.

Europe does a much better job of balancing life and work. They provide real vacation time and real health care and generally try to create a good environment for their citizens (food quality, environmental protections, ability to pursue higher learning, low crime, and general quality of life).

Is Europe perfect?

Fuck no, there are problems with any system.

But they are doing about 100x better than the U.S.A. in this regard. The U.S.A. has given up on trying to improve the lives of its citizens.

Is it possible to achieve a good life in the USA? Sure, but it is much harder given the entire system is working against you. The U.S.A. has created a Hunger Games society that breeds a sick winner-takes-all mindset where the only goal is power and money. I want to live somewhere where people want everyone’s kids to succeed and have good lives.

I’ve been wanting to take Calico on some longer bike rides, and we made it happen this weekend!

After school on Friday, we headed North to Ponte De Lima. It was so much fun to have some time just me and him. We cooked together, ate outside, and had adventures. And Lindsey enjoyed a lovely quiet solo weekend

The routes we did were 99% gravel/dirt, 100% car-free, and relatively flat next to a beautiful river.

Day 1  – 22km

He wanted to keep going and going! I was amazed as I expected to hit ~8km, and he would be tired. I had to force him to turn around at 11km so we would return in time for lunch.

Tota time biking – 2 hours 7 minutes.

Total time – 4 hours 13 minutes.

We stopped for a long time to play in a waterfall. And plenty of stops to explore and eat a snack. He has a single-speed and isn’t totally comfortable with some terrain, so we walked a lot of the uphills. He got a lot more comfortable by day two.

Short video here…

(one of his his first pedal biking!!!)

(funny picture of below with Calico being very hungry and trying to be patient for food)

Day 2  – 25km!!!

He was really excited to go again, so we packed up our Airbnb and headed to the trails. He was insistent on beating his day 1 record, and I convinced him to turn around at 13km (in time for lunch).

Tota time biking – 2 hours 15 minutes.

Total time – 3 hours 37 minutes.

There wasn’t as much to explore this way, and we started later. So we kept moving pretty well.

I’ve lost the majority of my quality time with Calico on this trip and it has been very frustrating. Why? All of my time has gone into:

1. Vetting cities and neighborhoods we are looking at. We do this as a family, but Calico and I don’t get to play and it is rather boring for him. It isn’t the same as going to the park together or a hike.
2. Trying to keep up with work… while working less due to #1, #3, and #4.
3. Driving.
4. Increased time for food prep.
5. Workouts to keep my back and sleep going well.
6. Resting and trying to stay sane and not get sick (big fail on this one as I didn’t make enough time to stay well).

I don’t see a way around this problem, as the main limit is time.

If I drive to a new city on a Monday that means I have to do 5 days of work in 4 days. And, if I take a few half-days to look at the city with Lindsey that further constricts work. The business has definitely suffered as a result (which sucks).

And, while traveling we are less strict on routines so Calico wakes up later, I wake up later, and then I am working till later. And, instead of doing food prep that gives me 9 meals I am doing meals one by one which means a lot more time going into cooking/prep each one.

I am very thankful for our time in Croatia as we got some of that back as we’re able to just chill (I love taking him to the beach). I am looking forward to being home in Portugal so we can spend more time together doing fun stuff.

Lindsey and I had to cut a ton of our couple time, but for us driving time is pretty high quality. And, we got to eat out with each other a lot which is fantastic. We are both looking forward to being home and adding movie date nights back. And, I can’t wait for Calico to be in school so we can do some lunch dates!

In hindsight… I think it would have been better if I stay home with Calico and Lindsey would fly to check out cities on her own. Then once she finds something she loves I would fly/drive to check it out.

… very angry. And, probably in part because he is hungry. He turns 4 in two months and he wants to do things on his own. He was fighting with his mom over holding her hand to cross the street and similar stuff. Testing boundaries and all that fun :).

Anyway, he apparently went into the bathroom and peed all over the floor because he was “angry”. Like stomping mad and being a little shit angry. Also, it is a kinda hilarious move to pee all over the floor on purpose.