Browsing Funny

There is a God.

December10

Someone is putting tiny cowboy hats on pigeons in Las Vegas as animal rescue works to remove them

Someone in Las Vegas has been putting tiny cowboy hats on the heads of Las Vegas pigeons, and while you might be asking yourself why, one local onlooker only has one explanation: “the rodeo is in town.

That is so funny, I can’t stop laughing.

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Lindsey cracks me up :)

September5

She sent me this today, quite funny :)

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Elephant head candle stick holder.

October22

I bought this in college and loved it, it always made me laugh. I think it came from sky mall (RIP). I wanted to mount it on the front door of our house but Lindsey did not like that idea :). Goodbye elephant head candlestick holder, may you find a new home through goodwill.

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The Journey…

June30

I love Calvin and Hobbes :)

Click this for the full comic :)

I recently re-watched Conan the Barbarian and WOW! I forgot just how amazing the movie is, such great storytelling, minimal dialogue, great shots, etc. This is one of my favorite parts….

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I want to get Lindsey one of these :)

November4

For her to drive around in Boulder :). Babyseat or me in the back!

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Must watch standup comedy :)

July31

Hilarious :)

Watch on Netflix here

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Brothers :)

January16

For Christmas my brother got me some awesome custom made button up shirts he secretly had made by his “tailor” in China (he is hilarious). So for a brief moment we matched, and all was well in the universe :) !

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PS. He is always striving to make me “classy”, and to go a step above my jeans and t shirt.

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Hilarious Bot!

August16

If you need a laugh check out InspiroBot, it comes up with the most hilariously weird inspirational quotes.

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2014 Summary… An Interesting Year.

January2

2014 has been a very interesting year… It was one of the most stressful/traumatic years of my life combined with one of the absolute best years of my life.

The Amazing!
I came home for a big college reunion ultimate tournament in October 2013 and met up with an old friend and everything just clicked. She ended up visiting me in Scotland in December and we’ve been together ever since :). We got engaged in October and married on December 21st :). I am incredibly happy and excited to have her in my life!

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What other fun stuff did I do this year?
– Lindsey and I went on an amazing trip to Spain & Portugal in late spring. It was a great break and nice to have some time off. We also had a great trip out to California in the Fall. And, one to New Mexico in March that was fun (although I got a bad sinus infection and was conked out for most of it).
I did a 30 day challenge to live as if I was only making $12 dollars an hour. It was a good experience and you can read more of my thoughts on it above.
– I had a fantastic time at work meetups in Prague, Scotland, Vegas, and Texas. I had such a blast visiting with everyone.
I said goodbye to all my paper books which was tough, but it feels good to not cart those around.
– I learned so much this year about myself and so many other things. One nice things about big challenges is that you learn at a very accelerated rate. I was very fortuntuate that a friend referred me to Vistage as it has been a huge help, and I recommend it to any CEO/BizOwners.

The Challenges!
This year had also had some big challenges.

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Health:
Health problems suck, I hate being limited in what I can do physically, or if anything makes me feel tired and slow. This year has been a doozy in that regard… Short summary: in April I started having some pain in my stomach area, along with being very tired. After many specialists and tests I was told it was either cancer, tumors, or possibly crohn’s disease (not fun to hear). After a bunch more tests I got surgery in late August to get a biopsy. The good news is it isn’t cancer (always nice to hear after such a stressful period). The bad news is the doctors think it is crohn’s disease or possibly IBUprofen damage. I recovered pretty quickly from the surgery and felt a lot better since they removed twelve inches of my small intestine that was inflamed. Unfortunately, I started having some symptoms in early December and tests backed up that I still have some problems. So, I am still working on figuring it out :) . The doctors think it is crohn’s disease which seems to be a pretty made up diagnosis for something they don’t know much about, and they want to start jamming a load of pills down me. I’ve started the paleo autoimmune protocol eating plan, as a lot of people have had great success with it. It’s tough but hopefully over the next 6 months it helps me heal naturally. And I’ve got an appointment with a doctor in a few weeks to learn more about how I can help the pharmaceutical industry financially… This health issue has taken so much time and energy this year.

Sports Injury:
In June, I finally got a proper diagnoses of a sport injury I’ve had for 2.5 years. It turns out I had a torn disc… and I’ve been working to rehab the muscles around it + give it time to heal. I haven’t been able to do anything but walk and a few other things. It was very difficult to eliminate running from my life as it is a major stress reliever. I’ve slowly found some new things, and I am now doing a Yoga more, and a lot of walking & stationary biking. I’ll get a read on how it is healing in a week or so from the MRI results.

Life:
This year has been a very tough year personally and professional. It has brought a lot of challenges, I am hopeful it will improve in 2015.

I pushed way too hard this year when so much other stuff was going on. I moved three times, got engaged, got married, traveled for work or pleasure for at least three months total this year, and many other things. Next time I will be better about cutting out the superfluous stuff to give myself time to breath when having such a challenging year. Live and learn :) !

Overall…
I am very ready for 2015, and glad that I am alive and surviving!

giphy

Then flourish.

Hilarious SNL Skit

May9

Way to go bolton!

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One Of My Japanese Toys

March11

Found this in a toy store, all driven by solar, seems happy and nice to have on my desk!

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American Health Care! Fuck Ya!

February11

Here is a nice dueling paragraph:

Health insurer WellPoint blames the Great Recession and rising medical costs for its planned 39 percent rate increase for some California customers. To President Barack Obama, however, it’s Exhibit A in his campaign to revive the health care overhaul.

Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, who received the company’s explanation in a letter Thursday, said “it remains difficult to understand” how premium increases of that size by can be justified when WellPoint Inc. reported a $2.7 billion profit in the last quarter of 2009.

Read more here.

Of course their CA subsidiary could be loosing money but the MAIN POINT HERE should be that insurance companies are good businesses in that they are TRYING TO MAKE MONEY. I don’t blame them for that, I blame our government because they either need to slap some draconian laws down or they need to take over the health care industry. Health care is a right not a profit making industry.

And This Is Why I Fear For My Hypothetical Children

November29

Wow, watch this movie of Palin supporters trying to explain why they like her. It is super painful but I think this is the level of knowledge that at least 60% of the people in this country are at. And unfortunately a higher majority of republicans seems to love repeating buzz words without anything to back them up.

Here according to her supporters is what Palin is about:

Liberty
Right to Speak
Fairness
Realness
Make A Difference
Good Judgment
Clean Up The Spending
Cutting Taxes
Entrepreneurial Environment
Less Government
Back To Individuals
Obama is Marxist, Leninist
Obama Hates The Military
Obama is not a citizen.
We need profiling of people?
Drill oil in protected areas.
Hate special interest groups like PETA
Abortion Crap
Obama is taking away free speech and religious choice?
Back To Basics Of America?

Buzz words and talking points. A few really crazy people too, especially guy with glasses half way in..

Blame Fox News.

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One Reason Why I love The Internet…

November20

I love the internet because a book on Amazon entitled “WHAT ARE THESE STRAWBERRIES DOING ON MY NIPPLES?: I NEED THEM FOR THE FRUIT SALAD!” is receiving hilarious reviews about the book. Which btw is listed as an import and not for sale.

Just read the 11 reviews left so far and you get such awesome lines such as:

“First of all, a warning. This book is packed with such useful and POWERFUL information, it should be approached with caution. Amazon has not provided a synopsis, and rightly so. I attempted to download a summary to my computer and my monitor EXPLODED. Normally, I would complain to the author and demand a refund, but the mere opportunity to witness this miracle of written word is payment for my loss ten times over. ”

“This book changed my life. Period. Colon: I have long had strawberries on my nipples. I also have had blueberries in my eye sockets and celery in my urethra. The celery remains, but I await the next book with eager expectations.”

“Not as good as the sequel “What are those bananas doing in my vagina I need them for my fruit salad” or the prequel “Popped Cherry Pie – where have all the fresh cherries gone”. But this serves its purpose of telling you where the strawberries go when they are missing from your fruit salad. With the color and shape of strawberries it is easy to see that you can misplace them on your nipples. Vanessa Feltz is truly the girl next door. She is just a woman trying to have a dinner party with strawberries on her nipples. Once she actually gets them off of her nipples she makes a great fruit salad and all the guest love her nipple salad “oops a nip slip”, I mean fruit salad.”

“There are two kinds of people in the world: those who divide the world into two kinds of people, and those who don’t” – Robert Benchley (American Humorist). This book, while laced with divine comedic interludes, divides the world into two difinitive subsections of society. This divide tears at my frail emotions when realizing that I myself am in a group of people who have been repressed and belittled; those of us with megaareolasis, also known as BNS, or Big Nipple Syndrome. I am disquieted to finally come to the stark realization that there is a class system in this country. Those with nipples that can at least be fully covered by a mulberry or rainier cherry are considered acceptable, those enveloped by a blueberry are hailed, and those the size of a mere red currant are revered as Gods. And to the title of this book, there are those that nessecitate the coverage of a fully developed conventionally grown strawberry from Costco, who are shunned as lepers. They are routinely humiliated and asked to hold objects, such as coins, leaves, and wide mouth bottle caps up to their bare bossoms to display the montrosity of their genetic freakdom. What little comfort if any I draw from this piece of literature is knowing that there are others like me out there who share the pain of suffering from the cruelty of our large nipple defaming culture. It has inspired me to write a new book – “What is this pomegranate doing on my nipple, I need it for my Hors D’Ouevres” that will urge congress to add nipple size as a new protected class under Title VII of the civil rights act.”

Just hilarious!

Hilarious Card!

November9

hilarious As a lot of friends know I love someecards, they crack me up. I had to post this one when I saw it this morning.

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This is bwb’s personal blog so he can share his thoughts with the world, however scary or silly they might be. Plus family and friends can track what I am up too, and where I am in the world.

I am pretty simple. I love Mangos. I love the ocean, although mostly at sunset as I’m a ginger. I love to travel, eat exotic food, read, and use my imagination. I love creating and developing ideas into businesses, understanding how all businesses work, and building cool stuff. I am a globalist and see the entire world as my responsibility and playground. And, I am married to an amazing woman who makes life even more fun :)! And, we are now the proud parents of Calico Jack :).


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