All Or Nothing

April21

Internally I hit “all or nothing” as a thinking trap pretty often. What is all or nothing thinking?

Seeing things in absolute (black-or-white) terms, without recognizing the middle ground (e.g., success/failure, perfect/worthless).

For me this trap seems to emerge over self-discipline, my performance, and my health. It is a shitty trap to fall in as you take a small loss and turn it into losing the entire war. Combine that with high internal standards and being shitty at self-forgiveness and I can get some pretty critical internal thoughts or even depression.

All or nothing thinking has some serious pros though and as a tool, I do not think I would be where I am today without it. The hard part is trying to figure out if it is still effective, and if so when and to what degree. If you can maintain the “all” it can lead to high levels of achievement, skill, expectations, and drive.

On the negative side, the “nothing” can lead to loss of self-confidence, depression, being very tough on yourself, inability to do things just for fun, inability to relax, pushing your body harder than it should, and the feeling that nothing is ever good enough. It can also sabotage the effort you have put in just because you missed one little step that largely does not matter (ie perfection over progress).

I grew up with the concept that a failure of your health/body is a personal failure, and that seems to be where “all or nothing” thinking is most potent. I’d really like to get rid of that… Anyway, just something I’ve been thinking on lately.

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This is bwb’s personal blog, so he can share his thoughts with the world, however scary or silly they might be. Plus family and friends can track what I am up to, and where I am in the world.

I am pretty simple. I love Mangos. I love the ocean (although mostly at sunset, as I’m a ginger). I love to travel, eat exotic food, do long bike rides, read, and use my imagination. At some point, I decided it was better to be a pirate captain than an admiral. I am a globalist and see the entire world as my responsibility and playground. And I am married to an amazing woman who makes life even more fun :)! And we are now the proud parents of Calico Jack :).


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